Hymn Page 6

  ‘Sure, I understand,’ said Sergeant Houk, sniffing. ‘What you had to do today—well, I wouldn’t ever try to pretend that there’s anything easy about it.’

  Lloyd said, ‘You know something . . . Celia loved life so much. She enjoyed everything she did, from morning till night. She was so damned happy. I can’t think of one single reason why she should have . . .’

  Sergeant Houk sniffed again, and looked around him. ‘There’s no grass here, no pollen. I’m seriously beginning to think that I must be allergic to tourists.’

  Lloyd said, ‘I called the Miyako. She never even checked in. So far as I can make out, the lecture tour was all a lie.’

  ‘We know that,’ Sergeant Houk nodded. ‘What we don’t yet know is when she came back to San Diego from San Francisco, and how or why. She didn’t use the return half of her airline ticket, we know that much.’

  He squinted at Lloyd against the sunshine. You’ll pardon me for asking, maybe it’s a bad time, but she wouldn’t have had any close men-friends? What I mean is, apart from you?’

  Lloyd shook his head, and let out a funny blurting noise that was nearly a laugh. ‘No,’ he mouthed. ‘She didn’t have any close man-friends. That’s if you mean by close what I think you mean by close.’

  ‘How about you? Did you have any extra-curricular friendships? Anything which might have upset her? You see, you’ll forgive me for asking, but these self-immolations, they’re almost invariably motivated either by wacky political grievances, like the U.S. invasion of Outer Weirdolia or saving the purple-spotted parakeet, or else they’re about personal relationships.’

  He paused, and cleared his throat, and then continued, ‘People who torch themselves . . . well, I’ve seen people on fire, and that ain’t the way that I want to go. No, sir. But I was talking to our psychologist this morning and she was saying that they do it to kind of purify themselves. Almost like they’re disinfecting themselves of all the infections they think the rest of us are crawling with.’

  ‘I’m not too sure I understand that,’ Lloyd admitted, although he was only half listening.

  ‘Well, I wanted you to think about it, Mr Denman, because any kind of clue to your fiancée’s state of mind could possibly be helpful.’

  ‘All right, I’ll try to think of something.’

  Sergeant Houk gave him an unshaven, cavernous grin. ‘How about a ride back to headquarters? I just had my airconditioning fixed. It’s like sitting in a goddamned igloo.’

  Numbly, Lloyd accepted his invitation. Inside, Sergeant Houk’s car smelled of pine air-freshener and stale cigarettes, and there was a sticker on the dash which said No Farting Zone. The rubbery beige upholstery was penetrated with dozens of cigarette burns. A naked plastic dolly with scarlet-painted nipples swung from the rearview mirror. A souvenir from Tijuana. Sergeant Houk thrust his arm out of the window and illegally U-turned on squittering tyres.

  He was right about the air-conditioning. The interior of the Riviera was penetratingly cold, cold as the morgue in which Celia’s body had been rolled out in front of him. So cold that Lloyd began to tremble.

  Sergeant Houk drove with his wrist draped casually on top of the steering-wheel. ‘It’s a funny thing, with suicides. Most of the time they leave a note. But even if they don’t, the nearest and dearest almost always come up with the answer. Once that first shock has worn off, they start to think about their loved ones the way they really were, and they start to analyze. And suddenly, po-zah! they understand what happened, and why. At the beginning, though, it’s pretty hard to accept that somebody you were in love with didn’t love you enough to want to stay around. I mean, not even in the world. Packing your bags and going home to momma is one thing. Setting fire to yourself, well, that’s something else altogether.’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Lloyd agreed, dully.

  They drove for a minute or two without talking. Then Sergeant Houk started to say, ‘In my view, you know . . .’ when he was interrupted by his radio.

  ‘Three-niner, three-niner.’

  He picked up his r/t mike, which had been lying loose on the seat, under an untidy loose heap of newspapers and Snickers wrappers and folded-up warrants. ‘Three-niner, gotcha.’

  There was a crackle as somebody else was patched through. Then, ‘Dave? Lieutenant Pratt. Listen, we just received an urgent bulletin from the State Police out in the Anza Borrego State Park.’

  ‘Oh, yeah?’ asked Sergeant Houk. ‘What are they squawking about now?’

  ‘Two Highway Patrol officers located a burned-out bus, about a half-hour ago, fifteen miles east of Borrego Springs.’

  Sergeant Houk didn’t reply, but turned to Lloyd, and said, ‘This is typical, you know? A burnt-out bus in the middle of the desert, and they’re telling me? You can bet your ass to a beef burrito, this is going to turn out to be some chore so menial you wouldn’t let your dog do it.’

  Almost as if he could hear him, Lieutenant Pratt said, ‘The State Police have requested assistance in checking the bus rental company. Balboa Hi-Way Bus Rental, 2339 Mark Street.’

  ‘I know them,’ replied Sergeant Houk, dispassionately. ‘Run by a guy called Dan Browder. Just opposite the Playa Hotel.’

  They’re also asking for assistance in checking the identities of the casualties.’

  ‘Casualties? How many casualties?’

  ‘Thirteen, no survivors.’

  ‘Thirteen? Jesus.’

  There was a long pause. They waited at a pedestrian crossing while a long crocodile of chattering Mexican children crossed in front of them. Sergeant Houk sniffed, then sneezed. ‘What did I tell you? Tourists! I’m allergic.’

  The voice on the radio said, ‘Sergeant? Are you still there?’

  ‘Still here, Lieutenant.’

  ‘I want you to check out the bus rental, then I want you to drive out to Borrego Springs and liaise with the Highway Patrol and the State Police and see what you can do to assist. Ask for a Sergeant Jim Griglak.’

  Sergeant Houk sniffed. ‘Can’t you get Rollins to do it? I’m up to my duff.’

  Lieutenant Pratt ignored him. ‘Dave, I want us to keep in touch with this one. We haven’t had the full details yet, but there are two possible explanations for what happened here, and both of them are potentially explosive. All the casualties were burned alive, and the first indications are that it wasn’t an accident. Either this was a crack massacre, some kind of major revenge killing . . . Colombia comes to Southern California. But judging from the way the bodies were found, there’s an even stronger possibility that it could have been a mass suicide.’

  ‘Hey, come on, Lieutenant,’ Sergeant Houk replied, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘A massacre I can swallow. But thirteen people torch themselves deliberately?’

  ‘I’m not sure, Sergeant. As of now that’s all we know. They were all burned to death and the circumstances seem to point to the probability that we’re dealing with mass homicide or mass suicide. I’ll give more information as and when.’

  ‘Okay, I’m coming in now anyway.’

  Sergeant Houk tossed the r/t mike back on to the seat. ‘Jesus. How about a chorus of “I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire”?’

  He looked across at Lloyd and suddenly realized what he had said. ‘I’m sorry. That was very tasteless. I’m sorry. I apologize.’

  Lloyd’s mouth was dry, and he was shaking with cold and tiredness. ‘Do you think there might be some connection?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Do you think there might be some connection between Celia’s death and these people on the bus?’

  Sergeant Houk wiped his nose with a tiny screwed-up Kleenex. ‘I’ll tell you something, Mr Denman, from now on, every time you switch on your TV or every time you pick up a newspaper you’re going to see a report about somebody burning themselves to death. It’s happening all the time, it�
��s just that you didn’t notice it before. There’s a certain type of suicide who feels that burning themselves to death is the way they have to do it. Who really knows why? There’s no connection. It’s happening all the time.’

  He turned into police headquarters and parked at an angle next to the steps. ‘About six weeks ago, I investigated a suicide that was exactly similar to your fiancée’s, out in Florida Canyon. Yellow petrol can, everything the same. The only difference was that nobody got to that suicide with a fire-extinguisher. There was nothing left but ashes, believe me. It took us two weeks to identify the victim. A store assistant from Sears. No connection with your fiancée whatsoever, apart from the mode of demise.’

  Lloyd climbed shakily out of the freezing-cold car into the grilling heat of the downtown sun.

  ‘Take it easy,’ Sergeant Houk told him, leaning across the front seat. ‘Throw yourself into your work, maybe. A lot of people find that helps.’

  ‘Thanks for the tip,’ Lloyd replied, though Sergeant Houk didn’t hear the sarcasm in his voice.

  ‘And if anything occurs to you . . . any conceivable reason why Ms Williams might have wanted to take her own life . . . even if it was nothing more than premenstrual tension, well, you’ll call me, yes?’

  ‘For sure,’ Lloyd told him.

  He crossed the dazzling white car-park. He was conscious that Sergeant Houk was watching him as he went. He unlocked his BMW and climbed in, and sat for a while with his eyes closed, and repeated the words of Allen Ginsberg’s Kaddish:

  There, rest. No more suffering for you. I know where you’ve gone, and it’s good.

  He didn’t see the girl in the raincoat standing on the opposite side of Broadway, staring at him, unmoving, her yellow scarf flapping in the warm harbour wind, her upswept sunglasses reflecting two dazzling points of light.

  Six

  When he arrived back at North Torrey, he was surprised and annoyed to find a metallic red Lincoln Continental parked in his driveway. He drew into the kerb, climbed out of his BMW, and cautiously approached the Lincoln across the lawn, jingling his car-keys in his hand.

  As he came closer, he saw that a balding man of about sixty-five was sitting in the driver’s seat, and next to him was sitting a white-rinsed woman in a purple-and-white blouse and more gold necklaces and bangles and brooches than Nefertiti. Lloyd tapped with his knuckle on the window, and both of them beamed at him.

  ‘Hi there! You must be Otto,’ the white-haired man greeted him, letting down his window. He held out his hand, still beaming.

  Lloyd said. ‘I’m sorry, sir. I think you have the wrong house. This is 4884 North Torrey.’

  The man frowned, and unfolded a pair of heavy-rimmed spectacles. He fished a well-folded letter out of his shirt pocket, and examined it closely. ‘That’s right. That’s the address I’m looking for. 4884 North Torrey.’

  ‘Well, I’m afraid there’s no Otto here,’ Lloyd told him. ‘Never has been, to my knowledge.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ the man answered. ‘We weren’t actually looking for Otto. We were looking for Celia—Celia Williams?’

  ‘You’re friends of hers?’ asked Lloyd.

  The man laughed, and the woman joined in. ‘You could say that. Do you happen to know where we might find her? We’ve driven all the way from San Clemente this morning, and we’ve been waiting here for almost an hour.’

  Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I’m afraid I have some pretty bad news for you.’

  ‘Don’t tell me she’s gone off on one of her lecture tours?’ said the woman. ‘Oh, Wayne . . . I told you to call first.’

  ‘What kind of surprise would it have been if I’d called first?’ the man demanded.

  ‘It would have saved us two hours on the freeway, for goodness’ sake.’

  The woman gave Lloyd a fixed grin, and asked, ‘Do you happen to know if she’s going to be away for very long?’

  ‘Ma’am,’ said Lloyd, and he couldn’t stop his throat from tightening nor the tears from prickling his eyes. ‘I’m sorry to tell you that Celia died yesterday.’

  The man and the woman stared at him with their mouths open. At last, the man managed to blurt out, ‘She died?’

  ‘How could she die?’ the woman asked.

  Lloyd took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes. ‘I’m sorry. There was an accident, she was burned. Nobody really knows what happened.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ said the woman. Her hair was white, her face was white. ‘Oh my God, tell me it’s not true.’

  The man climbed out of the car and stood next to Lloyd. He was short, bulky-chested and large-headed, but still quite handsome for his age.

  ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘I don’t even know who you are. It seems like Celia hasn’t been giving us the whole picture. I’m sorry.’

  Lloyd shook his head. ‘Lloyd Denman. Celia and I were going to be married. This house here . . . well, we were joint owners.’

  ‘This is quite a shock,’ the man replied. ‘We didn’t even know that Celia was seeing anybody, let alone planning to marry. Oh, by the way, I’m Wayne . . . this is Vela.’

  ‘Do you want to come in?’ Lloyd asked them. ‘I’ve just been down to the mortuary. I could use a drink.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Wayne. He walked around the car and opened the passenger door so that Vela could climb out. ‘Burned, you say? How did that happen? Was it an auto accident?’

  ‘Come on inside, and I’ll tell you,’ said Lloyd.

  He led them into the house. The two of them jostled against each other as they looked around the white-painted living-room, as if they were out-of-town tourists in a smart La Jolla art gallery.

  ‘The lemon picture,’ said Vela, suddenly. ‘That used to be mine, the lemon picture. Who’ll Buy My Lemons?’

  ‘Please, have a seat,’ Lloyd told them. ‘Do you want a drink? Or coffee maybe?’

  ‘Do you have a diet soda of any kind?’ asked Wayne.

  ‘Nothing for me, thank you,’ said Vela.

  ‘Please, sit down,’ Lloyd insisted, as he walked through to the kitchen, but still they wouldn’t sit.

  ‘We’d really like to know what happened,’ said Wayne.

  Lloyd came back with a can of diet 7-Up, popped the top, filled a heavy-bottomed Boda glass, and handed it over to Wayne. Then he poured himself a large Wild Turkey.

  ‘It seems that she took her own life,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ said Vela.

  ‘It seems that she committed suicide.’

  ‘But why? She was so happy! I never knew her so happy! Her career at the opera was going so well . . . she had so many friends. And she was going to be married, which we didn’t even know. Why, in heaven’s name, should she commit suicide?’

  Lloyd stared at the carpet. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t have any idea.’

  ‘She didn’t leave a note?’ asked Wayne, his voice trembling.

  ‘Nothing. No clues at all. The police have asked me to try and think of some reason why she might have done it, but I can’t.’

  Vela was shaking her head and sobbing, her wrinkled red-fingernailed hands slowly clawing at each other in anguish.

  ‘I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.’

  Lloyd said, ‘Maybe you can think of some reason. You obviously knew her pretty well.’

  Wayne’s crumpled-up expression unfolded like origami in reverse. ‘Pardon me? Of course we knew her pretty well. I thought you understood. We’re her parents.’

  Lloyd stared at Wayne, then at Vela, and then back at Wayne. “You’re her parents? Her real parents? She told me that both her parents were dead.’

  Wayne at last sat down, and laid his arm around Vela’s shaking shoulders. ‘Lloyd,’ he said, ‘I don’t know what the blazes has been going on here. But whatever it is, I think Vela could use
a doctor right now. Her heart’s not too good, and this is just about as much shock as she can take.’

  Lloyd nodded. ‘I’ll call Dr Meyer. He’s one of the university doctors. He can usually come out directly.’

  ‘Oh, my darling, my little darling,’ Vela wept. ‘Oh, Wayne, what are we going to do?’

  Dr Meyer arrived in his Porsche sunglasses and his golfing shoes and gave Vela a light sedative. ‘I’ll call by tomorrow morning, just to check she’s okay,’ he assured Lloyd, climbing into his gleaming charcoal Seville. ‘If you want me this afternoon, I’m out at Whispering Palms, playing with Bill Manzo. Ball therapy.’ He showed his teeth.

  Vela slept in the spare bedroom for most of the afternoon. Lloyd and Wayne stayed in the living-room and talked.

  Most of the life-story that Celia had told Lloyd turned out to be true, but there were occasional inexplicable discrepancies, not the least of which was her almost fanatical interest in religion and life after death. She had never spoken to Lloyd about religion, and when he had asked her if she believed in God, she had laughed and answered, ‘Whose God? Not mine, my darling!’

  Since Vela was far too shocked and distraught to be driven back to San Clemente tonight, Wayne graduated from diet 7-up to Four Roses. He lit a cigar, too, and took off his shoes. Usually, Lloyd found cigar-smoking offensive, not to mention old men’s sports socks, but tonight he didn’t object at all. At least he wouldn’t have to spend the evening here in the house alone, with nobody for company but Celia’s haunting, incommunicative photograph.

  Wayne said, ‘Celia started getting serious about religion when her grandma died. That was when Celia was . . . oh, I don’t know, fifteen or sixteen. Sixteen I think. She adored her grandma. They were so close, those two, such affection, such understanding. Peas in a pod. Vela used to be jealous sometimes, although there was never any need. But Celia was hit real hard when her grandma finally went. I don’t think that she could believe it, you know? She used to say, “Why couldn’t grandma live for ever?” She said that over and over, and she used to say, “I’m going to live for ever. I’m going to live for ever and ever.” I used to tease her about it, she said it so often. But she always sounded totally serious, wouldn’t be teased. I used to call her The Immortal Celia, or The Everlasting Girl. She used to smile and say nothing.’